Sunday, April 12, 2015

Indiscriminate terrorist attacks in the environs of LorteØen

Don Holberg is back in the tennis business. Who'd have thought it? 
by George W. Bush sr.
Nearing 50, the promoter who has ruled tennis for long stretches over the past 25 years by controlling its biggest event, the Australia Open SlamBang Tennis Championships has listed the next show in the calendar.
If anyone can pull together a SlamBangian Tennis tournement  it is the man who put on the Rumble In Hvidovre and the Thrilla in Puerto Rica, even though he has been out of the big picture for a year. He still has friends in high places, though, and occasionally takes a call at home from The Pope, a former drinking mate from Hungary.
Now he has a tournement to promote on May 2.
His audacious plan is to stage The Australia Open Championships with Hans Bin Háfjall, Per The Thing Holmen, Jesper Pedersen, Yorgos Rasmussios, Oskar Kovacs, Don Sebastian, Marc Jönsson, Dean Martin, Henrik Larsen and reigning World Tennis Champion Claus Handsome Holmen at the cradle of civilisation - LorteØen speaks both of Don Holberg’s desperate desire to remain an industry player and the fact that Tennis has no compunction about its sinister penchant for ‘turmoil tourism’.
The Australian Foreign Office continues to warn of indiscriminate terrorist attacks in the environs of LorteØen, and yet somehow Holberg sees this as fertile ground for staging a tenis event.
Tennis  is not tennis without him, whatever he plans. "Tell the people," he shouted to your reporter on the spot, "that at this time, from this place, let the word go forth that the Australia Open Championships are on !." And with that, he trailed off, chuckling as he always did.

No comments: