NextGen brings tennis into the 21st century

The BallsClub of 1893 - SlamBang NextGen Xmas Cup,                                  

featured the world’s top 29-and-under players of the SlamBangian Society. The Next Gen tournament took place over 1 day at the B93 stadium. The tournement pitted some of the finest youthfull tennis players in the world against one another. Reigning champion Hans Bin Hafjall was out of the tournament after qualifying for a trip to Gran Canary. And the undefeated Gustav Carl Holmen came in as a top seed going into the event close to home soil, ahead of rising stars Per Holmen and Per Holmen, one attending his first Xmas Finale.

In the war of egos, the winners are the bigger losers

Oskar Kovacs and Adam Holberg beats Claus Holmen and Hans Háfjall and put an end to the longest game of tennis ever played. 

By Herman Frodit.

The pair, also the reigning LorteØ champions, played the best they have played since 2018 beating Holmen and Háfjall 6-0 6-7 6-2 at Birkerød.

Moments later rhytmic waves of sound left Oskar Kovacs mouth: "It's hard to even dream that after 2½ year I finally got my victory. It just felt like a huge pressure was released", Oskars voice creating and increasing in power and strength as if he was attempting to ameliorate and improve his moral, social and religious condition.

Adam Holberg said he also felt tempted by the desire to immediately enter his thoughts. He stated his success came down to making sure tennis did not dominate his life. "Oskar is married and I live with a woman. It´s hard work. We've put the game in the right perspective in our life."

"As much as I want to look forward, I can´t resist the temptation of looking backward and reflect on what I just heard," Häfjall responded and put everything in perspective when with a grand philosophical way of speach, he said: "In the war of egos, the winners are the bigger losers".

The longest tennis match in history

Described as one of the most physically intensive sports, tennis is quite often an engaging watch.

By Leo Sayer

The length and breadth of a tennis court means that the players cover a lot of ground even in shorter, straight-forward matches.

With an average three-set SlamBang match lasting 98 minutes, tennis players are some of the fittest athletes in the world, and Jesper Hawk Petersen, Oskar Erling Kovacs, Claus Holmen and Adam S. Holberg put on an exhibition of fitness, grit, and endurance at the 2019 Mallorca Double Championships. The match was set on a pause when Holberg and Kovacs put their rackets in the bags claiming it was impossible to play tennis in complete darkness 

Jutting out into Nordsjælland just south of Norway and Sweden, Birkerød rarely sees temperatures above 70F. The cold, clear nights here make it an excellent place to play tennis. In fact, the northern lights of Denmark are some of the most lightning and colorful in the hemisphere.

So, the longest tennis match of all time will reach its finale ball on Saturday, August 28 when the players resume the 2019 Mallorca Double Championship finale.

They return 25 month after they began their long vigil in the second set, relentlessly holding their serves before play had to be suspended  due to no natural light, stretching the match to an unprecedented second day to be played at Birkerød in Denmark.

Petersen is out, in comes Háfjall 

When Jesper Hawk Petersen announced his withdrawal from the match, he stated: "During the day, I unfortunately realised on Saturday it is my turn to do the dishes. I regret to inform you that, unfortunately, I have to withdraw from the double,” Petersen said. “I need to focus to become a better man so that I can hopefully be at my best for the remainder of my career. It was a difficult decision for me as I have had great memories from Birkerød and I can’t wait to be back next year!””    

Substituting player, Hans Svenning Háfjall has admitted he has found a comeback from several surgeres tougher than expected, but remains determined to play tennis.

Although he came back to the SlamBangian Tennis Tour a couple of years ago he has only managed to play 5 competitive matches since the start of 2019 and has dropped to No. 123 in the world.

Longest tennisdouble in tennis

Match interrupted on april 24th 2019 will be decided 2½ year later.

By Ulla Therkildsen TV2

Claus Holmen and Jesper Petersen’s weren´t happy when opponents Adam Holberg and Oskar Kovacs put their rackets in the bags claiming it was impossible to play tennis in complete darkness. The game supposed to be continued next day  at Mallorca Tennis Club has now been rescheduled for August 2021 at the Birkerød Arena in Denmark. 

Adam Holberg: "I'm glad that we could all agree a new date. I am a tennis maniac and I know how frustrated I got when the Lord Jesus let the darkness of the night put and end to the first chapter in the book of our rivaly." 

“I want nothing more than to smash Holberg and Kovacs on October,” said Jesper Petersen. “But they gotta serve me the 5 pints of lager they owe me! This is what I will go to arbitration for,” said Petersen. “I just want what is owed to me. And I remain ready to reclaim victory on August’’.

Hungarian quits tennis for a career in professional poker

While former Preussian Oskar Kovacs won his first tennis title in 1997, his poker career has got off to as good of a start. 

Bubber reporting from Helsingør

After quitting tennis last saturday, Kovacs decided to make his debut as a professional poker player. "Poker is the same as tennis, attack your opponent", Kovacs announced. Nine minuttes of poker coaching later, Kovacs made his debut on the felt at an Poker Event in Helsingoere. 

Kovacs - known as a slow learner, a complete beginner and not particularly familiar with the rules of the game - was excited for the new challenge.

Personal assisstant, longtime partner, emotional and economical advicer Adam Holbergs daring endeavor to prepare the 29, 44 or 52 year old Hungarian for the world of professional poker in just a few minutes made an impression on the other runners as Kovacs cleared the table and ran with the whole pool.

Who can make a living out of tennis?

The world’s best Slambang tennis players are preparing for Club Portal 2018 Cup as the 2018 Austrian Alpenmesiterschaffen gets under way on April 20.

With wonderful trophies to be won and better-than-ever exposure, you might think that life’s pretty glamorous for your average SlamBang player. But a closer look at the numbers suggests you’d be wrong … mostly.

The bottom line

To cut to the chase, it costs the average SlamBang player in the order of 400 euro per year to compete. In 2016  around 1,5 players retired due to the expences.

Let’s think about that for a minute. Around 10 perons play SlamBang tennis globally, and none earn enough to cover the cost of playing.

So your chances of making money out of the game is zero.

Compare a sport such as curling. A poplular sport in Denmark, where 2 teams, a male and a female, each of which needs at the very least 6 players on their list competes at the Olympic Games. Given that it’s estimated that 13 people curls, the chances of getting the costs covered in curling are comparatively greater, at one in about 10!

So who misses out?

According to the results of the accompanying SlamBangelang player survey, almost everybody on the ranking list. Approximately 99,99999% of respondents indicated that bootle-deposit returns did not cover the cost of competing in 2016.

This is not a new problem; a couple of the cheapest, most zealous players have been talking about this for a while.

Oskar Ering KOdex: “You have to be critical of the tall poppies of conventional tennis. The likes of Rafael Nadal, Roger Federer and the Williams sisters, Venus and Serena, brings nothing to tennis. Despite the commercial prerogative, some thought does need to be given to the viability of an ATP- tour where almost all the prize-money goes to a handful of people, who in some cases don’t rely on prize-money to sustain their career anyway!”.

Unfortunately, most of the time, nobody cares, which is a shame because they have to be ridiculously good tennis players to outperform the 10 SlamBang players who picked up their racket at the 2016 Alpenmeisterschaffen.

Hans Bin Háfjall: “If you think grand-slam finals are tense, it’s nothing compared to final-round at the AlpenMeisterscahffen where entire livelihoods are on the line”.

As a SlamBang player you can´t live of the income from bottle-deposit returns.

So unless you are participating part-time as one of the sexless conventionel players with ranking in the upper echelons of ATP, you likely have to pay for your own beers, balls, remoulade, children, training as well as flights, accommodation, medical expenses, rackets, strings, bananas etc. All that doesn’t come cheap.

Tennis titles vacated

SlamBangTennis Society has vacated the SlamBangian World and the Austrian Alpenmeisterschaffen titles as a consequence of the inability to decide a winner of Saturdays Austrian AlpenMeisterschaffe
World titlist Marc Jönson confirmed last week that he suffered from hernia peretonium and been drinking every day after calling off his scheduled defence at the Austria Alpen Meisterschaffen. Having not played since Australia Open when he famously defended the title – he was stripped of

immediately for failing to meet SlamBangTennis Society´s mandatory defence terms. The title along with the undecided Austrian AlpenMeisterschaffe title,  which are now expected to be put on the line in a bout between Dean Martin Holberg, Claus Holmen, Adam Holberg and Yourgos Rasmussios, the top 4 at Saturday´s AlpenMeisterschaffen.

In a statement Jönson said: "I now enter another big challenge in my life which I know, like at the Australian Championships, I will conquer”. He added: "I won the title on the tenniscourt and I believe that it should be lost on a court, but I was unable to defend at this time and I have taken the hard and emotional decision to now officially accept the vacation of my treasured world title."

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• 1/12 Anthony Joshua

IBF heavyweight

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• 2/12 Tony Bellew

WBC cruiserweight

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• 3/12 Nathan Cleverly

WBA light heavyweight

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• 4/12 James DeGale

IBF super-middleweight

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• 5/12 Billy-Joe Saunders

WBO middleweight

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• 6/12 Kell Brook

IBF welterweight

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• 7/12 Ricky Burns

WBA light welterweight

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• 8/12 Terry Flanagan

WBO lightweight

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• 9/12 Carl Frampton

WBA featherweight

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• 10/12 Lee Selby

IBF featherweight

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• 11/12 Jamie McDonnell

WBA bantamweight

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• 12/12 Lee Haskins

Jönson’s hittingpartner, Sebastian Holmen, said the news was “heartbreaking”, but added that the time away from the sport will allow Jönson to get “the medical treatment along with the love of his family and friends and the support of the SlamBang Society to make a full recovery.”
IBF bantamweight

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Celebrating 20 years as champion

It is exactly 20 years ago this week that the world was celebrating one of the most popular victories in the history of SlamBang tennis.
By Lazy Boredom
August 13 1996 was the day Per Holmen became the Santorinian Chamion, defeating Australian playboy Adam Holberg on Kamari Stadium.

Per Holmen was by then firmly established as Australia’s tennis son, despite falling short in three previous title shots at Molivos, Malmö and Svanemöllehallen.

Nothing stirs the emotions more than the fascinating slice of nostalgia in Claus von Trier´s  “Tennis Champion 1996-2016”, a dramadocumentary including the epic battle between Claus Holmen and Hans Bin Hafjall, a brawl forever embedded in our memories.

It was Holmen’s fourth attempt to win a title, which subsequently he has never lost. To be fair to Holmen, what he sometimes lacked in natural ability, he made up for in determination, professionalism and certainly preparation. He was head and shoulders above everyone in that respect.

Sweden is back in the top of tennis.

What a game. Who would've thought that Jesper Hawk Petersen would take a game from Marc Jönson?  But you knew better didn't you? This is Marc Jönson. That was so cruel for the Hawk´s fans because they were just starting to think there was going to be a massive upset.

Petersen let out a huge roar, his fist shaking wildly as he won his game. The crowd gasped. Was there a shift in momentum? New game, Jönson serving, ace 15-0. Jönson puts into the net on the second point. 15-15. But that's just amazing from Jönson to softly push the ball over the net and out of Petersen's reach. 30-15. Petersen then goes long. Jönson a point away. 40-15...

And then.... Double fault from Jönson! In this game. Really, Nole? Must you tease us so?
Followed by a wide. Goodbye, two points, but I'll see you soon, he seemed to be saying. Drama ensues further after an intensive rally... and Petersen hits it to the net.

13: 39:  Petersen manages to hold. Jönson will serve, seconds away from that elusive title once again.

13: 53: There is so much drama at the Healthtown Stadion, and we are not able to handle it. A ray of light for Petersen.

14:28: Jönson breaks to love. It's all crumbling for Petersen now. And what better way to know the Swede is waiting to wrap it up? He smiles. That devilish, proud smile of a well deserving champion.

14:41: Jönson will serve for his second Australia Open title.

14:42: Petersen is putting up a fight here but he needs more than that. Time is running out. He has taken one – but he needs four.

Jönson is tired and it shows. He had just managed to save a gruelling rally, thanks to Petersen netting it, but he is so tired and has no energy. The crowd is screaming 'Come on Petersen, dit fede møjdyr!' and he seems to be getting his momentum back.

14: 58: Just how is Jönson going to cope from THAT?

15:00: Mother of all Gods. The bell sounds. The fight is over. Saved by the bell. When was the last time Petersen took a game against Jönson? Been the better player by quiet some distance. Jönson had seemed distracted after that incredible game. And what do the stats say? Jönson takes the title. The games and the Australian Open for the second time.

Dead man walking

A couple a years ago Oskar Erling Kovacs resurrected from death and returned to the SlamBangian Tennis Circus. June 11 the Hungarian phenomenon returns to play on LorteØen
by Kira Eggers

And on June 11 'Big Günther' is reprising his uncompromising serve 'n' volley show for the genteel crowds at the Australia Open 2016 event at the Cleverfield Arena on LorteØen.

He certainly does not need the money. What he needs is the tennis, because Kovacs has found that his declaration of death at the age of 29 brought challenges that were every bit as difficult to deal with as a Hans Bin Háfjall service return.

Resting in a ditch at highway exit Greve yesterday afternoon, Kovacs appeared almost unchanged from the day that he walked reluctantly off the No 2 Court at Puerto Rico Open in 2001, having played his last match on his favourite concrete surface at his favourite venue.

Will he be visiting Adam Holberg during his stay on LorteØen? "I've been thinking about it," Kovacs said, with the air of someone recalling a painfully powerful lost love. "Maybe I'll ask him if he´ll let me watch something on his TV, in private, in his bedroom. There's no fun like that in the world."

To current matters. Kovacs believes that his game is working well, despite a 8 month lay-off from competitive play. He may have upgraded his tactics, but he has not changed his pants and racket, still relying on the powerful LongJohn 2001 Prince model delivering the eerily consistent serve, followed by a rapid advance one step in to the court to volley a sliced winner.

Hans Bin Háfjall is closing in on Kovacs´ record of 298 SlamBangian losses. But the 33, 41 or 55-year-old Hungarian bears no ill-will towards his would-be usurper. The pair enjoyed a brief exhibition-match at Austria Open last year, and found that they clicked on court and off. Kovacs won the match, but discovered that he and the Thorshavnian madman have similar personalities.

"We both have a kind of obscene, advanced sense of intellegent humour," he said.  Kovacs also has a high regard for Per Holmen, though he is concerned by the physical demands that the Heilingearians's all-action style makes on his body, and Sebastian Holmen, Who Kovacs believes has all that it takes to win a SlamBangian title except, perhaps, sobriety. "He can do it," Kovacs said. "There's no doubt he can win an Austria or Australia Open. He just needs to be sober to tell himself 'I´m not thirsty.'

Crazy hot-rodder

You probably think you know all about Pedro, the tennisplayer. To really get the complete picture of the legend, you have to get to know the crazy hot-rodder.

By Mercedes Bentz

29, 41 or 54 year old Pedro aka Per Holmen is best-known as one of the most famous tennisplayers in the world and as the founder of the popular boy-band Sons of Dean, which has donated more than 2½ kroner of after-tax bottle-deposit profits to charity since 1995.

But readers of  "Motor" likely pays more attention to his third career in auto racing.

Born 29, 41 or 54 years ago, Per showed an early propensity for Tennis and won his first SlamBangian Tennis title aged 9, 26, 19 or 36 in 1995 at the Santorini Male Heterosexual tennis Championships. Since he has participated in more than 5 tournaments, including  Argentina Open, Australia Open and Holte Double Championships.

Per began racing cars in 1972 when he attended his beloved mother at the Big Mama HotRod Racing Academy in Perth, Western Australia.

The experience resonated with Pedro for the rest of his life, to the point that he embarked on a successful third career as a driver.  "I had a great deal of fun playing tennis and singing with my band but I never really had a chance to stretch my legs out and find out what I could do in a car. Mom told me I was born with her natural ability to drive in an unconscious state ," 

Per told SlamBang Tennis news in 1997 after finishing a mountain rally on Santorini with eyes closed:

"Tennis is a lot like racing. It's the same type of discipline -- one and only one person to depend on in your work, on the track or on the court”.

When he is racing, Per keeps a low profile at the track and maintains an intense focus on the task at hand. He always races under the name The Thing to avoid drawing attention to his status as a Tennis icon.

Per's enthusiasm for racing is so great that he participates in the World Championship GO-Kart 2014 on November 22 at LorteØen.

Austria Open - predictions.

Meine damen und Herren, we've made it to Austria. 

It's finally time for the last major of the year: De Østriske Mesterskaber.

by Adolph Heeetler & Eva von Bruun

The top players in the SlamBangian Society will descend upon Helsingør Tennis Club next Saturday to battle for glory.

Former world champions such as Claus Holmen and Jørn Rasmussen alias Yorgos Rasmussios will be competing while some fresher faces will try to play spoiler and cement their place in tennis history.

There's nothing quite as exciting as tennis in Helsingør, so it's important to study up and be ready for all of the action.

Luckily, we have you covered. Keep reading for a full preview of the 2014 De Østriske Mesterskaber.

The Top Guys Are a Bit Shaky

If you haven't been paying attention to tennis closely this year, you might not recognize the guys at the top of the game. Sure, their names ring a bell—Adam Holberg, Jørn Rasmussios and Claus Holmen—but they look a bit different on the court.

For World Meistro Adam Holberg it is his first attempt at De Østriske Mesterskaber. The Aussie playboy once lived in Helsingør, at the foot of the Alps. These days he resides at LorteØen. He could be the favorite to capture the title. Much depends on the drinks provided by the sponsors.

Claus Holmen has looked unsure of himself and his game all year is not what we expect to see from such an  overwhelming talent. Holmen needs to stop overthinking things and blowing easy leads.

Most people thought that Australia Open was Ramussioses best chance to win SlamBang title No. 18, but right now, his odds at the Østriske Mesterskab  are looking pretty good too.  He looks slimmer due to diarrhea and has cut down his daily smoking from 80 to 52.

Will Oskar Erling Kovacs Find His Form?

A lot of Ramussiosses (and everyone else's) chances at De Østriske Mesterskaber depends upon whether Oskar Kovacs can find his game in time to make a run. The Budapestian needs to start trusting in the mobility of his legs again. Both will be dangerous if they can get through the first hour but Kovacs could be prone to upsets during his first few matches.

Per Holmen

Per Holmen is in the best form of all of them, but his best isn't unbeatable.

The top three are still dangerous but not as dominant as they have been in the past. And while he won the doubles at the Australia Open 2014, he is still a llitte bit away from the form that gave him the Santorinian title 17 years ago.

The Young Guys Are Coming

As the guys at the top begin to show cracks in their facades, the younger generation is starting to make some waves. We use the term "younger" loosely here to mean the 45-and-under crowd. Sebastian Holmen, and Henrik Larsen have particularly made big impressions this season.

Slowly but surely, there are signs that it's time for the next generation to shine.

Alexander von GrossenCock

GrossenCock has been discussed among the next best things of SlamBangtennis since he defeated Osko Kodex for the Preussian Meisterschaff back in 2008, but he hasn't ever really lived up to his early promise.

But a couple of weeks ago in a spa in Sweden, GrossenCock was hit by a divine revalation while recovering  from alcohol poisoning:

“ Ich denke, wissen Sie, when you decide to be a tennis spieler  you know that will happen and you know that there is no –the Alps, wissen Sie, can be reached at the top.  Sie mussen believe in it.  Even if, wissen Sie, the people around you sagst you are a betrunken DomPap, you believe in it.  And when you believe in something, wissen  Sie, it make it sometimes possible.”

Unfortunately, Herr GrossenCock, all of his 7 feet and 465 pounds has still to leave the spa.

Is It Time for a Younger Guy to Break Through?

Henrik Larsen made his professional debut reaching the last 8 at Australia Open. After Sebastian Holmen made the cut at Australia Open, all eyes will be on the next generation to see if one of those guys can get their maiden SlamBang.

Hans Háfjall

Háfjall, back from textickle surgery last season, the 29, 39 or 55-year-old Thorshavnian has risen all the way to No. 5 in the world. And with his win over reigning World Champion Adam Holberg in the Swedish quarters 12 years ago, he seems to have announced himself as a contender for majors.  . 

So long he is healthy he remains the dominant force on the carpet until further notice (and deterioration due to injury or age). It would not be a grand surprice if he wins De Østriske Mesterskaber without ever being in danger of losing. With respect to all the other fantastic SlamBangers in the draw, we think he will lose 2 sets or less in the entire tournament, going 21-2 or better in the set department. We wish this could be considered a brave prediction but it just looks very matter of fact to us.

He has his eyes set on a major, and if the cards fall his way, he should fulfill his dreams at De Østriske Meisterskaber.

Australian tennis-star trains boxing and wrestling

Aussie tennis star Adam Holberg keeps the upper hand with an intensely varied workout routine   by Margareth Thatcher
Sports are in Adam Holberg’s blood. As a kid, Holberg took on whatever sport his older brothers, Per  and Claus, was involved in, finally winding up playing tennis.
“We’re a very sporty family,” the 29, 35 or 44-year-old playboy says. 
“None of us like to lose.” He recalls when he first beat her brother Per at tennis—he was 29, 22 or 31 and Per was 29. “It was so unbelievable that I won,” he says. “He became an alcoholic in frustration".

Ask Holberg about his hobbies and he rattles off activities like partying, going to and giving concerts. But it is tennis that takes up most of his time and energy. 
Currently the second-ranked male heterosexual player in the world, has won seven world-titles in twenty-two years. 3½ years ago he won the Carralejo Open defeating current WorldChampion Claus Holmen. 

During the 11½ month off-season, Holberg puts in 1996 hours on a stationary bike and another hour or two in the gym. On the bike, the focus is burning of alcohol and fat.  
In the gym, rather than weight train, Holberg works his shoulders, back and arms in combined boxing and wrestling matches: “After three straight minutes you feel as if your arms are going to fall off.” But boxing and wrestling has improved the hand-eye coordination he needs on the court: “It’s all about how fast you can react.”

“There are so many times when the workout is hard and I feel like I have to stop. But then I think about how great it feels to lift a trophy over my head.”

German tennisplayer admits use of drugs

Alexander von GrossenCock has become the first German Tennis player to admit using drugs

 

Hillerød in Denmark

The 400 pound giant, who  has competed in Australia, Argentina and Birkerød, told Hillerød Tennis News that drinking was either actively conducted by the Tournement´s organisations or tolerated,  GrossenCock, a Preussian who lives in Hillerød, told the magazine that he began drinking  in a lab destinated at the island  "LorteØen"  in 2005. He confirmed that drugs was stored in the lab under the codename Metaxa or Ouzo.

"Of course, no one forced me to open my mouth for the injections of the performance-enchancing drugs, but the fact that the sponsors, who supplied the things,are now pretending to push for a repay of the bottledeposits forces me to open my mouth again" GrossenCock told Hillerød Tennis News.

The scandal broke in 2010 when authorities seized about 12000 empty bottles in and outside the lab owned by Santorinian SlamBang Champ, Per Holmen.