Thursday, November 14, 2013

Intoxicated since 1996

Faroese admits drinking performance-enhancing drinks since 1996

By Lance Armstærk
Rumours of Hans Háfjall’s involvement with performance-enhancing substances first started to circulate after accomplice Per Holmen admitted he ran the place that supplied 10 athletes in a  garage in Copenhagen. 
"I would´nt hit a tennisball without intakes of a variety of performance-enhancing juices",  Háfjall announced.  "Such is the prevalence of drinks in the sport". Háfjall is said to have drunk a cargo of 100,000 centiliters of Rum, Ouzo, Whiskey and Carlsberg Lager, as well as eating five bags of Kodymagnyles in case he faced hangover. Háfjall  announced that he was intoxicated during all his tennis performances from 1996 to 2011. 
Dressed smartly in a black blazer, white shirt, fanzy black tie, Háfjall looked thirsty while casting himself as a flawed, contrite human being who got caught up in a "culture" of drinking, which, he implied, includes all athletes . "It is a culture. I don't try to stop culture ... culture is the fundament af civilization".

6 comments:

Rob said...

Agassi admitted to dope. your work is very good. I always liked Agassi

Badassper said...

I remember nothing and deny everything. Any liquids injected were and have always been destined the female gender - and not supersportsmen like pictures at this fantastic blog.

Rob said...

Sounds like U ran porn ring :-)

Anonymous said...

Dear Claus Holmen--

I'm over here in the rain forest of the Olympic Peninsula, and don't know what Slambangtennis is, although it sounds like it could be interesting.

Is that an official ?

Best regards

Rhys Beacon

Anonymous said...

Dear Rhys,
Olympic Peninsula? And yes SlamBang is official..somehow.
Best wishes
Claus Holmen

Anonymous said...

Dear Claus,
Olympic Peninsula=holiday
Rhys Beacon